Scatter Shot

The following commentary and opinions are not in order by importance or relevance.  These pronouncements of mine cover the mundane, and the deep seeded goings on in our lifetime.  For instance, why does the name Lloyd have two lls?  Shouldn’t Ppeggy have two P’s?  How about the name Xxavier, or Ssusan?  Don’t get me started with Thom McAn shoes!  This is just the tip of the iceberg folks!  As much as the double letters get my ggoat; what really fries my okra is baseball caps being worn backwards!  These practitioners of the flagrant violation of cap etiquette should be fined or forced to do community service for 30 days.  Societies debt must be paid!

I have a wallet that contains my cash, credit cards, identification….  In other words, everything I need to function in the outside world.  It’s a trifold of an undetermined age, that is still in good condition.  One man, one wallet; a simple basic concept that has lasted for ages and will continue to do so up at pop up at.  Women, on the other hand, have wallets, credit card cases, money clips, makeup kits, and on and on.  Remember, these are the essentials that our lady requires to survive in the day to day marketplace. Enter, stage left, The Purse!  This collection of essentials is dumped (oops) placed in the Purse for use at a later time.  The aforementioned essentials comprise about 30% of the Purse contents.  Wads of Kleenex, year old receipts, coupons, nonworking ballpoint pens, peanut butter crackers, and a pair of socks, comprise some of the remaining 70%.  It would not be wise to ask your sweetheart, “Honey, have you seen the 4” paint brush?” Without hesitation, she would check her Purse before she said no. (Try the socket wrench!)

I have always maintained that tattoos should be worn by sailors, and other men of that ilk who sail the briny seas.  A small minority of women, in order to be like the guys, have devoted some of their most intimate body parts to the artists needle.  While I admire the artwork, I wonder how it works with wardrobe changes.  The frilly off the shoulder little black dress, doesn’t work well with the Barbwire around the bicep.  Likewise, the low-cut peasant blouse would be at odds with the screaming eagle flying down between the boobs.  Please stop and think ladies, tattoos are for life!  If your lifestyle changes down the road, your tattoos don’t; you’re stuck with the decision you made years ago.  The lowlife who encouraged you to join him, is not now, nor will he ever be, the man for your future.

 If you want to run for the United States senate, the latest price tag is between 10 and $12,000,000!  That doesn’t include paper clips or business cards.  That amount of money lends truth to the old adage that it’s the best government that money can buy.  That amount of backing translates into ownership; the men of the people have now become the men of the money.  Personal integrity gets lost in the shuffle, and starry-eyed reformers surrender their innocence to those who are snuffing out the best hope of quality legislation.  Remember the golden rule of politics: if you’re out, get in; if you’re in, stay in.

 We’ve been fighting a war in Afghanistan for 40 years!  WHY?  This is a homework assignment.  Submit your questions and comments directly to the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the pentagon!  Sign them, Chuck Norris!!!