Reading this out loud will make you laugh.
Rabbits run over at a random roadside road kill, had ramped up the ruckus among the renters who resided in the rustic rundown road houses on Rockslide Ridge. Randall and his wife Ruby, raised rhubarb and rutabagas, using rototillers to plow the rows of rugged soil, and were forced to use Rottweiler’s to guard their farm. Two side crops, raspberries and roosters, paid the rent, and allowed Randall to recruit roustabouts to reap the results of the farming season. The risks of river flooding frightened Ruby, causing her rash to ripen and ravage her right forearm.
Randall alerted the Rotary club regarding the rising of the tides, and urged them to establish routes away from the raging river. Rotarians, using rented rowboats, would reconnoiter on the right bank where the residents of Ramrod Village could be rescued. Rival riverboat companies ridiculed the Rotarians rowboat plan, and rattled on about making rafts from railroad ties, thereby reaching more residents than their rowboat rivals. A rally would be held at the Ritz Hotel to ratify the reasons for or against the rowboat versus riverboat choice. A rugby match, between the Ruffians and the Rockaways, would be held in the lobby to ratchet up the roar of the crowd.
The Ritz planned a festive banquet for the rambunctious rowdies, including standing rib roasts, rare ribeye steaks, and rams horns of red radishes, plus rump roasts, russet potatoes and a garnish of red radishes that had been blessed by rabbis. The Radisson hotel, rival of the Ritz, responded to the Ritz rally by scheduling a rickshaw race between the rich and the rigid; the prize, a dude ranch weekend in Reno. Between races, a racquetball tournament between the radicals and the racketeers and sponsored by Ramen noodles, would reactivate the restless and the recluses. The final race of the day was between raging razorbacks and racehorses ridden by raccoons who ran rapidly around the raceway, signaling the last remnant of racing in Ramrod Village. The Reading Railroad wanted the racetrack property to reroute their rail lines from Racine to the Red River at Roanoke, giving them a radius of rare railroad rights to enrich their regional rural base.
Randall and Ruby, ranking shareholders in the Reading Renewal initiative, had been ridiculed by the ruthless reformers who ran around raving about the restrictive rules regarding rubbernecking at the rail yards. Railroad raconteurs had encouraged them to reconsider keeping records about room rates for route men who rode the rails trying to unravel the ravioli in the dining car. Rapscallion radio operators who had rappelled down ravines in the Rockies, and established rapport with radioactive radicals that had appeared on the radar, were ripping off the regulators of the riverbed. Their rudimentary rituals involving rubdowns and rumba lessons, enraged the rank-and-file, and forced them to reconsider revoking their membership.
A ragtag group of irregular ragamuffins had raided the reserves of Roquefort cheese, holding it for ransom, and demanding Randall and Ruby’s entire crop of rutabagas be placed on a railcar racing for Raleigh. The runaway rutabagas were rundown by Rangers on racehorses, who recovered the ransomed Roquefort and returned it to the cheese repository and remanded the ragamuffins to Riker’s Island prison. Roadblocks were removed from the roadways, and romantics resumed their riverside routine of counting the ripples on the water.