The fone call from Phred at the farmacy was the tipoff. Phred had been writing about the ancient faraohs phights with the filistines, using phancy words and frases. A phew pholks found the study phutile, and preferred the phindings of Phreds brother Fil, a well-known filanderer. Phortunately the two brothers phound phrequent parallels in the fotographic evidence, that would phoreshadow phuture phunding for their projects. By using philters on the fotos, a phountain of pheasible possibilities emerged; not unlike the Fenix rising in the desert.
Studies done in Phrance during the Phrisbee phinals, had shown that phossil phuels could fisically phlip phlop, and become philet mignons. This fenomenon produced a philibuster in the Phrench Parliament, a phiasco of phlammable pheelings. Phistfights phlared up between the phlight attendants, and the phood processors, who were trying to phorce pheed phrankfurters to a phoreign exchange student. New legislation required a fisical exam by a Phrench fisician, and witnessed by a phorklift operator.
A phrenzied fone call by a phreshman whose fotographs were foney reproductions, stopped the melee, and caused a phorum to convene under the phluorescent lights. Phive phellows phorcefully planted filodendron’s near the farmacy to soften the phriction between the two phactions. It was a chilly phebruary morning, phull of phragrance from the phorget-me-nots, and flox in the garden. A phox hunt had been scheduled for phour o’clock, and pholk music by phifteen phlorists would provide the entertainment. Most pholks took the phootpath to the phootbridge, pheeling phootloose, while phinding phootholds in the phoothills.
A few feasants were shot during the phox hunt, and phlirtatious phloozies phollowed the hunters, looking phorward to the phorthcoming phestival. Filosophers phlourished on the phloodlit stage, expounding on phorm letters as they pertained to a phunnel cake. Phundamentalists dredged up the phundamentals, which was their phull-time phunction at these phundraising events. Phried phruitcake and phrosty Phrench toast were the mainstays in the diet of Phred and Fil, whose filosophy was “if it ain’t phried, it ain’t phood!” They were born in Filadelphia on the phourth of July; delivered by the phamily doctor, who worked part-time for the Phranklin Institute.
Phred had a fobia about fones, and took fenobarbital to soothe the phrequent phacial phlushing so common with fonobian sufferers. His filanthropic pursuits were fenomenal in their scope and phunction; attracting other filanthropoids to join his work. He mailed fotocopies of fosphorus to fotochemists, who might be interested in a ground-phloor phield test; for philmmakers who wanted to become fotojournalists. Phour phinalists would phorm the phoundation of filosophers, who listened to the Filharmonic every Friday, and Fantom of the opera on phirst Mondays.
Farmacists were phaced with the fenomenon of phigure skating phetuses, who phearlessly carried on a pheud with the phiberglass distributors. The phetuses, phortified with phour leaf clovers, had the phranchise phramework in place to phurnish phortune cookies for the Phounding Phathers Phoundation. Fotocells, when mixed with phruit juice, produced a phertilizer that would increase phetal growth by phifty percent. This phrightening statistic caused phuneral directors to phactor in the phunction of phreeze dried phetuses for the phuture. The fobic naysayers, fisically opposed to fotosynthesized fisicians, were voted down phour to one. With one voice they had announced; phuns over!
Rinse,gargle,spit,and repeat!