Ask the Commanders in Chief
The latest concept in entertainment airs tonight! This is a new broadcast innovation that will allow the listening public to ask pertinent questions of U.S. presidents past and present. Never before have these leaders of the free world opened their hearts in order to give honest answers to the voting public. They have assured us that their responses will be straightforward and candid. We shall see. Walter Cronkite will be our moderator.
Our first question is from Brenda Hardtimes from Chevy Chase, Maryland. Ask your question, Brenda: “President Clinton, would you comment on the new oil pipeline coming down from Canada?”
“And Yes Brenda, I did not have sex with that woman!”
Cronkite: thank you for your candor President Clinton. Moving on now. Next is Bruno Salvatore; your question Bruno: “Hey man, this is for President Bush Junior; what is your reaction to being called the dumbest president to ever hold office?” “and That’s easy Bruno, Mission Accomplished!”
Cronkite: our next concerned citizen is Larry Lameduck from Walden Pond Massachusetts. “Yeah, this is for Dick Nixon, you son of a b/Cronkite: now now Larry; let’s not be crude. Remember our motto here at camp, “clean mind, clean body; take your pick.” Here’s my question, five o’clock shadow. “What did you say to the Girl Scouts when they ask you to buy their cookies?” Pres. Nixon: “I am not a crook.”(If you can’t fool the kids, you’re doomed).”
Our next question comes from Arthur Precinct of Des Moines Iowa: “Pres. Ford, besides playing golf with malice aforethought, what was your proudest achievement in the oval office?”
Ford: “Pardoning Richard Nixon. (he kept looking at me funny, you know.)”
We have a lady next; Anastasia Milhous. To whom shall we address your question? This is for Harry Truman. “What was the dumbass reason behind rounding up all the moose and deer?”
Harry: The plaque on my desk reads “The Buck Stops Here”.
Our next questioner is Lora Loveless from Trailer City, Arkansas. Speak right into the mike Lora. “Hey Barak old buddy, how come I can’t find jeans in my size? I’m a petite XXL.”
President Obama: First of all, let me apologize for my administrations inappropriately handling of your jean conundrum. I’ve asked the Atty. Gen. to take action at once. The results should be apparent by 2017.
Editor’s note: ABC, CBS, NBC, Mutual Network, and Bobby and Terry’s string between two cans, all refused to carry this stupid programming!!