The words that form our language, probably take days or even weeks to create. Just imagine a committee made up of 26 people, who represent each letter of the alphabet. The “S” group has a major proposal to put up before the...
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I began to unwrap the unused uniforms that had been unearthed during the unarmed phase of operation, “Unmask the Unruly.” Uncle Sam had unleashed an ungodly assault to unthrone the unstable units of the underdog Army. Without...
(Read aloud for maximum effect.) At 3 am, they took my Buick Regal out of the driveway! My initial reaction was revulsion! The car’s transmission was in remission, the brakes relined, the tires recapped, and the seats...
Reading this aloud will tie you in knots! “A monumental muck up!” moaned Maurice to Malcolm after measuring the mechanic’s maximum margins on markdowns on Mazda manifolds. Maurice and Malcolm were managing partners of...
Could Josh abolish catfish? Why not banish instead of abolish? The goal had been to quash the onrush of outlandish fools seeking to embellish, and possibly even demolish the status quo. International outcries from the Spanish...
(I rote this win I wuz a chile) Their was going to be a wedding! The invitations had been scent, and the quire would sing special hims that wood be herd throughout the church. The preacher nose about reaching a hire power for...
The Rhymers, the Metaphor people, and the Expressionists extraordinaire, were there at the beginning. They established verse and stanza instead of paragraphs, to build and maintain the flow of the story. Every emotion, feeling...
Reading this out loud will make you laugh. Rabbits run over at a random roadside road kill, had ramped up the ruckus among the renters who resided in the rustic rundown road houses on Rockslide Ridge. Randall and his wife...
It all began, not too long ago, when a teenager put his baseball cap on BACKWARDS. This young member of the acne generation was clueless, [are we surprised?] about the chaos he set in motion, by rebelling against proper baseball...
Ask the Commanders in Chief The latest concept in entertainment airs tonight! This is a new broadcast innovation that will allow the listening public to ask pertinent questions of U.S. presidents past and present. Never...
Read Aloud to Maximize the Effect Marty manipulated most of the mousse into Maureen’s moistened tresses, using the mild, milky mousses that Maureen’s mother had insisted upon. Marty was of the mindset that mocked the...
When someone is not feeling well, he is said to be “under the weather”. When he recovers from this malady, how do we describe his state of being? Obviously, he is not “over the weather”, but is it safe to say that he is...
Reading this out loud may be a challenge. Give it a try! Herbie and Harry were partners in Helping Hands Inc. which was headquartered in Houston, and received funding from Health and Human Services. The hired help wore halos...
The judge called for quiet in the courtroom. My attorney cautioned me not to say anything (I’m the plaintiff). He further instructed the defendant (that’s also me) to remain mute. Confusing? Not at all; let me explain. I am...
Reading this out loud will make you laugh. Give it a try. Lulu was lukewarm about lobotomies, and was leaning toward legislation to legitimize using leprechauns to bring luck to loyal libertines. A license to be lewd and...
Try to read this out loud. It will make you laugh. Jeff jerked the jewels from Jerry, jumped into the Jaguar, jousted with the joystick, and sped away. He felt jittery, in need of some Java for his jangled nerves. He...
On 25 April, the N.I.H. (National Institute of Health), awarded a grant of $80,000 for a study to determine if mice (rats) stuttered! This brief announcement, without details, allowed my imagination to run amok! Imagine, 50...
Read aloud to enhance the pleasure and effect. An alliteration is when you use words that have the same sound at the beginning i.e. bridge over a babbling brook; then the fun starts!! George gulped down his gumbo, while...
Read aloud to enhance the effect Felipe and Fritz sold food on the ferry between Fairplay and Foulball on the Foxtail River. Between French fries and fudge sickles, Fritz felt free to falsify facts about the fifty flavors of...
Overheard in a conversation, “I just lost my husband.”(How could you lose someone that big and ugly?). How about this one? “My wife passed.”(Passed what? An 18 wheeler on Interstate 20?). Here’s one more: “My husband...
The concept of creating an Ireland in Oregon was hatched during a recent tour of the Emerald Isle. I was so enchanted with the people, the zillion shades of green, the music, the pubs, and of course, the Guinness. The land of...
Read aloud to enhance the pleasure! Otto opted to operate overtly without offending the official hombres. (Please fasten your seatbelts during takeoff). The Oklahoma oilman was offloading obelisks that would occupy the outback...
The fone call from Phred at the farmacy was the tipoff. Phred had been writing about the ancient faraohs phights with the filistines, using phancy words and frases. A phew pholks found the study phutile, and preferred the...
How much is too much? In a similar vein, how high is up? Here in Kingwood, there is a storage locker facility whose company logo reads: Enough’s Enough. The storage locker industry was conceived by the perception that consumers...
How big is big? In sporting arenas, the big TV’s are called Jumbotrons; massive fireworks displays are referred to as Colossal, and the optimistic fiancé terms her engagement ring as Extra Small. We owe these superlative size...
The syllabus described the class as, “Intro into enclosed incubators.” I was an intern investigating the interest involved in the internal plant operations. My instructions were to make inroads into the intense involvement of...
When major league baseball began in 1875, no one in their wildest dreams would ever imagine a dispute at home plate, involving a manager, a player, and the umpire, being referred to as a RHUBARB, but that’s what they called it...
The F bomb has gone too far! It’s out of place, it’s in your face, so it must be replaced. There had to be a softer and more gentle word, that could be used as an attention getter, without being totally offensive. After...
The secret was out. Seymour was in seclusion when the seaplane hit the serf (surf, I know.) The servants, who were seeking Seymour, were searching in the seaweed near the seawall; where they had seen seahorses in the sediment...
Happiness is an electronic device. The shining faces on cell phone commercials tell the viewer that smiles can be had by texting and tweeting. Google, Facebook, and Amazon answer your every question, supply you with thousands of...
The Land O Lakes people have offered to sponsor me in the annual Wisconsin Butter Sculpture Festival. My entry would be an interpretation of Rodin’s The Thinker; except that my Butter Thinker would be sitting to Plato’s left...
The narrator speaks, “The scene is a concert hall in lower Manhattan; but all the seats are empty. The stage is crowded with animals of every shape and kind. They seem to be excited, nervous, and growing impatient. While...