When the English poet John Donne opined that “no man is an island”, he obviously had not seen the future. A future filled with a myriad of electronic devices designed to keep us connected, while at the same time creating a new and scary form of isolation. Every TV commercial for cell phones, features happy users brandishing their little handheld units for the entire world to see. These users apparently never put their units down, lest they miss a call, or a picture of a neighbor’s dog, an overdue library notice, or a 1000 other bits, bytes, and blurbs of data. Take a group, let’s say 4 to 6 people, who are milling about together, talking, texting, emailing, playing a game, and taking selfies while talking aloud to each other. It’s only a phone; it can’t cure leprosy or stop wars!
Remember, the TV commercials depict only happy users who are good-looking, well-dressed, and seemingly without a care in the world. A perfect TV life for Joe Schmuck to aspire too if he will just buy this phone. That’s all it takes for Joe to lose weight, say goodbye to his zits, and move out of his mother’s basement and into that condo. Joe sees that TV commercial and decides to go for it!
Joe leaves the cell phone store in triumph, his new prize held above his head. He has just won a great personal victory. Joe walks down the busy downtown streets, anticipating nods of approval about his new acquisition. An approaching cell phone pedestrian jostles him and says “Move it, Fatso!” Joe rushes home to his mother’s basement, applies two heavy coats of Clearasil, and goes to bed where he remains for three days.
On the third day he arose, rested and ready to explore and develop his new cell phone life. He immediately realized that he had no friends! In order to be like the cellphoners on TV, he would need an entourage of basement dwellers like himself. On Facebook he would find dozens of friends; friends out there in the ether who would notify him of their birthdays, plus all the minutia that comprised their lives. Joe devoted 15 minutes of every hour to thumb exercises in order to strengthen those short sausage digits for the many messages he would send.
Joe’s world was now complete! He had his cell phone, high-speed laptop, and big-screen TV. Joe had become an island! But wait, there’s more; the phone had accessories (which Joe purchased), that allowed him to watch movies and sporting events, listen to music, and play games! All of it was Streaming Live, a lifetime of excitement in the palm of his hand!
Joe persuaded his mom (aided by some vodka in her sweet tea) to sign a 20 year lease on the basement for one dollar a month. Secure in his kingdom, Joe ascended to the throne as Emperor of Schmuckville, cheered on by thousands of his Facebook friends. With a wave of his hand, he could order anything necessary to sustain his standard of living. With eBay, Amazon, and Craigslist to overnight deliver whatever his heart desired, he could devote more time to pursue his solitary love of playing solitaire.
The author admits the above piece was an extreme cell phone story. The author further agrees that the cell phone has many wonderful utilitarian features. If used properly, it may actually revive the possibility of two human beings talking to each other, you know, streaming live!!!