(Read aloud to maximize the effect)
The Lake Woebegone Warblers consisted of Waldo, Wendy, Walter, and Winifred. (Yes, it’s going to be one of those. Deal with it!) The woodwinds worked in the waltz tempo, while warm hearted waitresses watched the women woodworkers, who were wielding the welding torches toward the wainscoted walls of the winery. The big food attraction was Waldo’s Wieners and Wursts, a Woebegone tradition for weightlifters and welterweights, who would wedge themselves between the widows and the wide bodied wenches.
Walter and Wendy wore windbreakers while lighting the wicks of the wicked wizard’s lampstands. By withholding witnesses behind a wicker basket, Walt and Wendy would delay the wealthy windsurfers from gaining windfall winnings by withholding wages from the witches. The witches had wagered their wages with wackos, who were hoping to walk off with their wallets. Several warlords were busy catching wallabies during their walkabout, and without warning, they would practice warfare on peace-loving warhorses. Without warrants, these warriors used stopwatches to warn the water skiers who were eating watermelon, to stop wearing waterproof, washable, worsted, woolen, suits.
World-Wide Wolverines, a hockey team that had waylaid some wayfarers without wasting willpower by wearing wigs that wiggled in the wind. Winos, working in the winery while wearing wingtip shoes, demonstrated how to wiretap walruses as they worshiped the whales. Waldo, who had always had a weakness for weaklings, used his wieners as a weapon to ward off any wildebeests that wantonly wandered about the widespread wilderness. The windblown watermen winked at the weather, using willpower instead of windbags, to check the wingspan on the flying walleyes.
Walter was watching his waistline, not wanting to waste away, but weigh just enough to win Wendy’s womanly wiles. Wendy wisely withdrew from this winter’s weasel versus warthog competition to concentrate on Western well digging. Wendy wondering whether or not to weatherproof the waterbed. A Walter/Wendy wedding walk off was waiting for the wazoos at City Hall, to wind up the workstations and dismiss the workforce. On Wednesday a waterlogged waterman washed up without waiting for the waterspouts to wind down. He waved off assistance and waddled down Wabash Avenue in search of watermelon. Later, while dining on waffles and wedges of wildcat, he wagered a week’s wages that Walter wouldn’t wed Wendy, because he was wacko about Winifred.
This left Waldo wondering where was the warm hearted woman for him. He was worn out worrying about being a worthy man. This worry caused him to weep on weekends and ask “What, where, why, and when will I discover my Wonder Woman?” He paused to welcome the welfare weirdo’s, while wearing a wetsuit with web feet, and reciting the weather forecast. Waldo’s cousin Wendell, while waiting for his waffles, cracked walnuts with his wooden shoe, as he continued wooing his waitress.
Wagons with whale meat approached the warehouse, where whale meat watchmen waited for the weigh masters to water down the watercress. Willie and Waylon, who were watching the whalers, were willing to work with the Warblers and sing a few songs. Worry warts wondered how the worshipers would warm up to the watercolorists, who were coloring waterfowl under the watchful eye of water proofers. We stopped worrying when the Warblers wound up the show with that wonderful old classic, “From the Indies, to the Andes, in my undies.”