I would’ve been a lousy caveman. I neither hunt nor fish, and I’m not too keen about going outdoors during extreme periods of cold and heat. I’m perfectly willing to stay in the cave, and keep the fire going, sharpen the spears, protect the women, and doodle on the cave wall. Caves are making a comeback! The “man cave” syndrome movement, whereby modern-day Neanderthals carve out some personal square footage in the house to call their own. Must-have furnishings include a big screen TV, pool table, pinball machine, and a display case for weaponry. (A minimum of 42 assorted revolvers, rifles, crossbows, and bazookas). A sturdy door prevents unauthorized entry by female persons, who indulge these 21st-century Fred Flintstones in their fantasies, as long as they don’t forget to take out the garbage. These man caves are reminders of their boyhood tree houses, on which was posted a sign that warned, “No girls allowed!” The wife could blow her guys mind, by sneaking in and putting doilies on the pool table!
I have begun thanking vets. When I take my cardiovascular walk around the perimeter of my neighborhood Wal-Mart, I start looking for ball caps worn by old guys. These caps would denote either, the branch of service, (Air Force, Marines, etc.) or the conflict (World War II, Korea, etc.). This data gives me an icebreaker. I can casually approach him, put out my hand and say, “Your hat tells me that you served in (pick one of the above categories). I’d like to thank you for your service.” Their eyes brighten with the recognition, and a handshake of gratitude for their contribution to protect me and my country. We are both richer for the experience.
Which of these is the more eloquent request? “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!” Or consider, “Hey guys, listen up, I got something I wanna tell ya.”(Credit, Bob Newhart)
I just realized the fact that women have introduced color into our lives. Let’s face it, white is light, and black is the absence of light; a very narrow field for a runway fashion show. History credits Cleopatra’s contribution to expanding the color palette, after she examined her own limited wardrobe. “Who needs a 100 white garments” she lamented. That very afternoon she instructed Mark Antony, “Hey Tony, the next time you’re out conquering the world, pick me up some dyes. Here, I wrote it down so you can’t screw it up. I’m looking for greens, blues, and magenta; also checkout puce; I saw it somewhere last week.” When Tony got back from pillaging and plundering, he had a box full of roots, bark, and assorted clay for the dye masters to work with. Thus began an explosion of colorful gowns, which were all the rage at court; the ladies wearing a veritable rainbow of robes.
Accessories were to follow; shoes and clutch purses, from fashion houses bearing the names, Gucci and Dior. Men continued to wear the same black suit until the women said, “Clark, that navy blue number would look great on you!” Women have not only enriched our clothing experience; they’ve enhanced our very lives by demanding colors in paint, cars, appliances, and home furnishings.
But alas, the color wheel in cosmetics has produced a dilemma of perhaps, too many choices. Lipstick and nail polish are offered with a minimum of 30 colors of red. Facial applications of powder and paint have at least a dozen shades of skin tone. You wanted more choices ladies; you got ‘um!